Capture The Flag
by Janpei
Summary: The legendary Invisible War, the war for the Flags. Read and Review please.
1. Default Chapter

This is the war that has perplexed us longer than, World War I, World War II, Vietnam War, and even the Earth vs. Covenant War, this war has lasted for centuries, a never ending power struggle, this isn't for World Domination, or liberation, this is just for control of the flag, this is Red against Blue, this is Capture The Flag.......

Random Blue Guy: When will the madness end, when I ask, when when when!

Winston: How about now.....

A Sniper shot was clearly heard throughout the whole Sidewinder outpost as another Blue Marine was dropped from his feet..

Winston: My sniper skill just perplexes me.

Scotch: Uhhh dude, not to mention the fact that you were standing directly behind him.....

Winston: Dude will you shut the fuck up? Why do you always have to ruin my glory.

Scotch: Because I hate your guts?

Winston: If you hate me so much then why don't you just put me out of my misery right here right now.

Scotch: If you're dead, who else can I make fun of?

Winston: There's Zero over there.

Scotch: Nah, he hasn't been the same ever since that, dun dun dun dun, Battle Creek incident.

Winston: Dude don't bring that up around me, flashbacks man, flashbacks.

Scotch: Oh sorry, anyways, when are we going to go over to the Blue Outpost and take there flag?

Winston: Will you stop your bitching about getting their flag, there's only about 7 Red Soldiers remaining, we need immediate back up.

Scotch: You just didn't say that out loud did you? Dude there could be blue spies all around here.

(Winston immediately began looking around.)

Winston: Nope don't see any.

Scotch: How do you know I'm not one.......

Winston: Because me and you both shipped to the Sidewinder outpost the same day???

Scotch: So....I could have been possessed.

Winston: Yeah.....anyways, we've received direct orders to camp at the Red Outpost to make sure our flag isn't captured until reinforcements arrived.

Scotch: Good thing this isn't the PC Sidewinder planet.

Winston: Oh yeah totally, the Red team not only have to stop the Blues from coming in from the front, but the Blue bastards can also go through the portals, sucks for them.

Scotch: Yeah, they totally got screwed. What's so important about these flags anyways?

Winston: I'm not sure, but the commander once told me that whatever color controlled all the flags, they would be the ones to actually control the future of mankind.

Scotch: You've actually had a conversation with the commander?

Winston: Yeah....so?

Scotch: I totally hate you now.

Winston: Like you didn't already?

Scotch: Why can't I have the conversation with the commander?

Winston: No offense Scotch, but I seriously doubt that the commanders definition of a conversation would involve porn and smut.

Scotch: That was just low man, funny, but low. Anyways we should head back inside, I'm freezing my ass off out here.

(Scotch and Winston both headed back into the Red Team base as they awaited for back up.)

**Meanwhile Back At The Blue Base**

(4 Blue Marines come running into the blue base yelling and shouting as they stop in front of the blue flag and infront of Nutz.)

Nutz:........What the fuck is this........You guys said you were going to hurrah, rant, rave, whatever all the way to the Red base, and return with their flag.

Marine 1:Well, we did yell and run.

Nutz: Let me guess......they fucked you up?

Marine 1: Well no not.....

Nutz: Oh yes I forgot, lamemans terms, they basically killed off most of you before you got there....

Marine 2: Yeah pretty much.

Nutz: Idiots....... did I not tell you, that you guys would get mowed down by their defense before you even got half way out there? For Christ sake, it's a blizzard out there, and you fools were actually dumb enough to attempt to run all the way over there in this weather....

(Bishop came down the Sidewinder ladder poking Nutz.)

Nutz: I'm probably going to regret asking this, but why in the hell are you poking me?

Bishop: I just wanted to let you know that I was scouting around and noticed that only 4 of the 16 Marines....

(He was then cut off by Nutz.)

Nutz: Let me guess, only 4 of the 16 Marines happened to return flagless.

Bishop: Wow, you're sidekick.

Nutz: It's not sidekick it's psychic you nubtard.

Bishop: That's what I said dumbass.

Nutz:........anyways, no I'm not psychic, it just so happens that these Marines think they can return to our base like this empty handed even though they promised us a flag.

Bishop: What should we do to them.

Nutz: Well, I think 4 soldiers are about to go homes to their families in body bags.....

4 Marines: WHAT!?!?!?

Nutz: Only kidding guys.

Bishop: Damn.....

Nutz: But next time you guys should listen to me since I am higher in rank than you nubs.

Bishop: Technically you only got to your position for kissing the Sarges ass.

Nutz: I didn't kiss his ass, I may have kissed around his ass like on his thigh, but I not once kissed his ass.

Bishop: Wait, so you actually did kiss his ass?

Nutz: Never tell anyone that.

Bishop: I won't, but I can't promise that these other 4 Marines won't. Marines you tell every other blue marine that you come in contact with what you just heard.

Marine 1: I don't know that sounds pretty mean.

Bishop: If you don't. I will KEEL YOU!!!!!!!!

All 4 Marines: Right away sir.

(The Marines scatter throughout the outpost.)

Nutz: Dude you suck....

Bishop: Was my KEEL YOU voice a little too over the top?

Nutz: No not at all.

(Zipper then entered the Blue Outpost.)

Zipper: Hey guys guess what I got.

Nutz: What is it?

Zipper: Guess idiot.

Nutz: Zipper you fucking piece of nubtard, what the fuck is it?

Zipper: Awwww you take all the fun out of everything. Just follow me.

(Nutz, Zipper, and Bishop all exited the outpost.)

WHAT DOES ZIPPER HAVE THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO INTERUPT THE UNIMPORTANT DIALOGUE BETWEEN BISHOP AND NUTZ, ALSO, HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE FOR THE RED TEAM TO RECEIVE BISHOP, AND FINALLY, WHAT THE FUCK IS A NUBTARD???

Nutz: Shut up nubtard.

OH SORRY, ANYWAYS, FIND OUT IN EPISODE TWO OF CAPTURE THE FLAG.


	2. Chapter 2

**Episode 2**

**Over At The Blue Outpost**

(Bishop, Nutz, and Zipper were all outside of the outpost standing around a purple object.)

Bishop: Ohhh, it's so purple and shiney.

(Nutz looked to Zipper and shook his head.)

Nutz: Cut the bullshit Zipper, what is this thing.

Zipper: Well me and the other marines were up on the hills over there.

(Zipper pointed towards the area.)

Nutz: Over there? And not over here.

(Nutz then pointed in the opposite direction.)

Zipper: Hmmm. No, it was over here.

Nutz: But you had to think about it, so it could have been over here.

Zipper: But it wasn't.

Nutz: How do you know.

Zipper: Because I was over there when I found it.

Nutz: So you weren't over there?

Zipper: I don't think so.

Nutz: But you don't know so.

Zipper: Will you shut the hell up. Anyways, we think it might possibly be a vehicle, a vehicle that could have possibly been used by The Covenant.

Bishop: Ooohhh The Covenant, I thought they were (he then whispered) extinct.

Nutz: Why the fuck did you just whisper that?

Bishop: Whisper what.

Nutz: Whisper extinct.

Bishop: Well if the Covenant aren't extinct I didn't want them to think we thought they were.

Nutz: You know, nevermind.

Zipper: Anyways, while trying to establish an vantage point on the Reds, we found this baby buried under some rocks.

Nutz: So......

Zipper: So, with this, we can get in and out of the Red base quick.

Nutz: Holy shit dude, we can even possibly get their flag.

Zipper: That's right, but

Nutz: Damn there's a but why is there always a but.

Bishop: So this is a vehicle?

Nutz and Zipper: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Nutz: Anyways what's the but.

Zipper: It's a Covenant vehicle.

Nutz: And....

Zipper: I'm not sure Nutz, but the last time I checked none of us were fluent in Covenant.

Nutz: Damn, he's right.

Zipper:........

Nutz: Well we could learn, we could get a teacher, a Covenant teacher.

Zipper: Oh yeah good plan Nutz, let's find a Covenant that have been extinct, I don't know what, maybe 30 years, dig him out of his grave and have him somehow teach us.

Nutz: Sounds like a plan to me.

Zipper: You are truly an idiot.

Bishop: How hard can it be? I mean all we need to know is how to accelerate and brake.

Nutz: He does have a point.....

Zipper: Dammit, I hate agreeing with you Nutz, I just god damn hate it.

Nutz: Well then it's settled let's get someone to test drive this bitch.

Bishop: No, no way, that thing is not blowing up on me....

Zipper: Fuck you guys.

Nutz: I'm not doing it.

(A blue marine who's patrolling the outpost walks by.)

Nutz: You come here, what's your name.

Marine: Stanley sir.

Nutz: Now you're name is Surge, you got that?

Surge: Uhhh sure.

Nutz: Surge do you want to be cool?

Surge: Sure.

Nutz: Do you want to be popular.

Surge: Hell yeah.

Nutz: Do you want all the ladies to grab on you.

Surge: Ummm there are no ladies here.

Nutz: True, well omit that last part. If you want to be cool, all you have to do is get in this vehicle, umm what's it called.

Zipper: Marines from the Covenant vs. Earth War called it a Ghost.

Nutz: Why in the....nevermind, anyways Surge, we need you to test drive this thing so we can find out how it works.

Surge: But I don't know how to drive it.

Nutz: So....

Surge: If I crash it will it blow up?

Nutz: That's why we need you to find out you piece of nubtard.

Surge: Dude if it blows up, I'll die.

Nutz: So....just get in the damn thing.

Surge: Fine fine fine.

(Surge then began to run towards the "Ghost'" as he sat in it.)

Nutz: Now you need to figure out how to start the thing.

Surge: I'm going to take a guess and say it's this yellow button.

Nutz: Yellow, why yellow?

Surge: Because Yellow is my favorite color.

Nutz: Ok.....I guess that makes some sense.

Zipper: Oh please, what sense does that make, if yellow turns on the "Ghost" then I'm officially Bishops little bitch.

(Surge pressed the yellow button as the engine turned on and the "Ghost" lifted off of the ground.)

Bishop: Get on your knees bitch.

Zipper: Fuck you man.

Nutz: Oh hell yeah, let's figure out how we accelerate this thing.

Surge: It has to be this foot pedal right here.

Nutz: How would you know that?

Surge: Because there's a picture that shows the "Ghost" moving.

Nutz: Does it actually show it moving like is it a video in motion?

Surge: No it's just a picture of a "Ghost" with an arrow pointing forward.

Nutz: Yeah I guess that does qualify as acceleration, give it a try.

Surge: Here I go.

(Surge pushed on the pedal as the "Ghost" moved forward.)

Nutz: Awesome, you are the shiznit man.

Bishop: What a loser.

Nutz: What?

Bishop: Shiznit? No one says that.....

Nutz: Shut up.

**Red Outpost.**

(Winston was seen standing on a hill looking over at the Blue Outpost.)

Winston: Holy shit.

Scotch: What what am I missing, why don't I get a scope weapon.

Winston: I'm not sure, but it looks like Blue, they're developing some kind of new technology.

Scotch: New technology, like Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Winston: I don't know, but it looks pretty high tech. They're driving it.

Scotch: Well don't just look at them. Shoot you idiot.

Winston: I can't shoot at them, I want to be secretive.

Scotch: You don't have any ammo do you....

Winston: No.

Scotch: Why are you always the one with the sniper rifle but no bullets.

Winston: Because women like the big guns if you know what I mean.

Scotch: No I don't know what you mean, in case you haven't noticed, THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE!!!!!

Winston: But what if there were girls here?

Scotch: But there's not.

Winston: But let's say there were.

Scotch:............Then you'd most definately get the women.......yeah sure.

Winston: Well let's head back to base, headquarters has to know what we've discovered.

(Scotch and Winston got up and left the hill walking back to the Red base.)

WELL WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT ZIPPER FOUND, BUT ACCORDING TO NUTZ, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT LOCATION HE FOUND IT IN, HOW WILL RED COMBAT THIS NEW WEAPON? WILL BLUE GET THE FLAG? WILL NUTZ EVER STOP SAYING THAT FUCKING WORD NUBTARD.

Nutz: You fucking son of a nubtard, I'll kill you if you bitch about my word.

UMMMM SORRY PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, ANYWAYS, FIND OUT MORE ON EPISODE 3 OF DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!! CAPTURE THE FLAG.


End file.
